


Heart Skipped A Beat

by im_a_seriesholic



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Alternate Universe, Emus, Multi, My Mad Fat Diary AU, My Mad Fat Diary Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 22:18:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2484356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_a_seriesholic/pseuds/im_a_seriesholic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Rae hasn’t met the rest of the gang yet and she has a huge crush for her best mate Liam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

RAE’S POV

Dear Diary,

OH MY GOD! Liam is so funny! So sexy! I can’t believe that we are best mates, well, best mates for now, because when he decides to stop the games and just kiss me, we will be a lot more than that! He cracks jokes all the time and people never find then funny, but I always laugh because I want to make him feel good, feel happy! We spend hours and hours talking, mostly about nothing important really. I just think that we like to talk to each other.

The only problem about spending so much time with Liam is that I’m getting really distant from Chloe, she’s actually pretty angry with me! But you know Diary, it’s really hard to find someone that likes us for who we are… And the most important thing is: Liam asked if I want to go to the movies with him! It’s our first date and it will be amazing! I can feel it!

***

He is getting closer, closer… Chill out Rae, everything it’s going to be great!

\- Hey Liam!

\- Rae Rae! So, the rest of the people are already here?

\- What people?

\- Well, the gang! Tix, Danny and Amy!

WHAT? HE INVITED THEM? BUT MOST IMPORTANT: HE INVITED AMY? HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND?

\- I didn’t know that they were coming, so I don’t know really. Ask him Rae, just ask! Liam, why did you invite Amy? Do you still like her?

Oh no, he made his confuse face! Nothing good comes out of his mouth when he makes that face!

\- You know, things between me and Amy are complicated, Rae. But no, I don’t like her…

And then he looked directly into my eyes, gave me a sexy smile and said:

\- … Actually, I’m starting to like some other girl!

\- Really? OH MY GOD! IT’S ME! IT’S ME!

\- Yes, I’m just waiting for the right time to tell her!

\- Okay, I get it!

Come on, pretend that you’re cool with it, not just dying of happiness inside.

\- Look, the guys are coming!

So Tix, Danny and Amy met us and we all went to watch the movie. I was a little sad about Liam had invited them, but how can I still feel sad after what he said? He likes someone! And by his look, this someone is me!

That is it, life couldn’t be better!

***

\- Hey Rae!

Oh no! It’s Chloe! I forgot that I should have called her two nights ago! That is it! She will kill me! Oh God, she is with her new mates from the new school! Well, there is no way to dodge the bullet, I just need to breath and be nice with everyone! They don’t need to know that I’m antisocial right?

\- Hey Chloe! Hi Chloe’s mates!

All of them gave me a shy smile in response.

\- Sorry, I never had the chance of introducing you! Guys this is Rae, my best friend since I was 7! And Rae this is Archie! 

She pointed to the Greek God who wear glasses and he just wave to me.

\- This one is Izzy. 

She pointed to the cute and nice red hair girl that gave me a big smile.

\- There is Chop. 

Before she pointed him, the tall and skinny guy said hello and gave me a high five!

\- And less but not least: Finn!

There he was: a mix of Liam Gallagher/Hot Italian man/Sex God in front of me! Whoa, he is a really piece of cake! I think he is the sexiest man I ever met! WAIT A MINUTE, is he checking me out?

\- It’s really nice to meet you guys! I’m so glad that Chloe has new nice mates!

Before they could say anything, Chloe grabbed my hand and said:

\- Rae, we’re coming to this pub in the end of the street, don’t you wanna come with us? Come on, you own me this! I barely saw you this summer!

I wish I could say no, but I was been a shit friend to Chloe! I can’t just hang out with the people from the hospital. I need to meet new people!

\- Okay, I’ll go!

***

We went to this nice rock pub and everyone were so nice to me, well, everyone besides Finn! It was like he didn’t like to talk to anyone really! The few times that he spoke were with Chop! And they were talking about girls! (So stupid!) I was behaving really well, it was the first time that I hang out with people that weren’t from the hospital in a long time, and I was fitting in! I should have just talked to Chloe sooner.

But then, my favorite song of all time start to play on the radio and I just couldn’t help myself. SUPERSONIC BY FUCKING OASIS WAS PLAYING!

\- FUCKING HELL! I LOVE THIS SONG!

And then I start to sing:

\- " I need to be myself

I can’t be no one else

I’m feeling supersonic

Give me gin and tonic

You can have it all but how much do you want it?”

I was already embarrassed when I heard:

\- "You make me laugh

Give me your autograph

Can I ride with you in your B.M.W.?

You can sail with me in my yellow submarine”

Finn was singing with me! And he was laughing! And that was the first time that we actually looked at each other that night! God, everyone was staring at us and laughing from us, but we didn’t care, because we were singing and we were happy!

***

During the night Finn was starting to be nicer with me, we talked a lot about Oasis, what was each other’s favorite song, what TV show we were currently watching on TV and a new subject always came up. I couldn’t recognize the Finn from early today and the Finn who was talking to me right now, he was so different….

-Mae, are you gonna study in the same school with us?

\- You dickhead! My name is Rae! I told you a million times by now!

\- Seriously? Because I really think you told me your name was Mae.

\- Yeah, right, I don’t know my own fucking name!

\- Come on! Just answer quickly! Are you gonna study with us or not?

\- Yes I will, Dinn!

\- Dinn? So that’s how this is gonna be now then?

\- I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ginn.

\- You’re the dickhead! I was going to start calling you Rae, but you know what, I will call you Mae forever!

\- Okay, Jinn.

We teased each other all night! I was having such a good time! When I thought that anything could spoil my day, I saw Liam coming in the bar with Amy. It was like suddenly the whole pub was in silence, and I just could hear both of them laughing and talking, and if that couldn’t be worse he was now kissing her! WHAT THE FUCK?! My eyes immediately start to tear and I couldn’t hide it. Breathe Rae, just breath! Count till 10. Count till 10. You can do this. Focus. 10…9…8…7…

\- Rae, what are you doing here?

There he was! Liam was looking to me with a scared face like I was a ghost or something.

\- I…I was just hanging out with Chloe and her mates! And I was actually living, so goodbye Liam, goodbye guys! Chloe, I promise that I will call you tomorrow!

Without thinking twice I just turn my back and left the bar. I couldn’t even think about properly say goodbye to the gang. My heart was hurting so bad! So was he just lying to me? He never liked me? All the times that he said how important and beautiful I was, it was all a lie? He never actually cared about me? All the love songs that he sang to me were nothing? I fucking hate Liam! I fucking hate how much I really like him!

When I was just running towards my house, I hear someone calling my name and stopped.

-Rae! Hey! Wait!

The person calling my name was Finn! God he is even beautiful when he is running!

\- Rae! Just. Wait. Please. Whoa, you run really fast! I’m a little tired now! Just wait a second!

\- Okay, calm down! I’m not dying!

\- Sorry! So I saw the way you were when that guy came in and I just wanted to check if you were okay!

\- Oh, thanks Finn. I’m fine. It’s just hard to see the person you like kissing someone else in front of you.

\- Yeah, I know.

\- What? You, Finn Nelson, is telling me that you already suffered of love?

\- Hey, we just met today, so you don’t know everything about my life! But if you let me, I can tell you a little bit about my own frustrated love story on the way till your house…

\- Do you want to take me home? Well, okay! I’m really curious about your love stories!

\- Okay, don’t get all excited about! I will just tell you about one!

\- Oh, there is more? Finn, you’re a box full of surprises!

So Finn came with me till my house and we kept talking a few ours in my backyard. That feels good, because even if Liam had made me feel like shit before, with Finn was the opposite, he actually make me feel happy. And then I just realized… Finn was a special person. I could feel it. Even if I had met him tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

RAE’S POV

DEAR DIARY

Things with Liam haven’t been the same since that day on the pub. Now he just ignores me. Every time I see him in group therapy or on the street he just wave at me. No conversations. No hugs. No nothing. I really hate this! But, on the other hand, things with Finn are great. He is a really nice friend! We talk about our romantic problems almost every day, and I always find out something new about him. He is a really nice guy and he is helping me a lot. We’re there for each other, that it’s what I most love about our new recent friendship.

He suggested that we unite to make jealous on Liam, but I don’t know. Isn’t that too much cliché? I really don’t know what to think and I just can’t talk about this with Kester, because he’s gonna star to make all those questions that I would never have a straight answer for.

Life is difficult Diary, but let’s be honest, if everything supposed to be easy, we would be so bored so easily.

***

Sometimes I like to come to the park alone and just look to the wind moving the trees and hear the birds singing, it’s so calm, so quite! When I’m here I’m able of organizing my thoughts and my feelings and make some decisions. They aren’t all good though, just like when I decided that I was an embarrassment to my mum and friends, that my death wouldn’t make a difference in anyone’s lives. Of course I was wrong, but that is the thing about feelings, sometimes they are not right or good.

-Hey, Rae Rae!

FUCKING JESUS, IT’S LIAM!

-Hello, stranger!

Cold and quick, good one Rae!

-Come on, don’t do this! I miss our time together, but every time that I see you, you are with that guy from the pub.

Is he jealous?

-Who? Finn?

-Yeah, if that is his name!

\- Don’t be a dick Liam, Finn and I are just friends.

\- Really?

\- Yes!

\- Well, good to know!

Good to know? Do you think you are my FUCKING OWNER?

-But I was thinking, he is really cute right? Maybe I could just try something with him…

Okay, so I think that I’ve just accepted Finn’s offer of making Liam jealous! This will be so fun!

-What? So you like this guy?

-Why do you care Liam? As my friend you should just support me!

-You know what? You’re right! Go ahead and be with this guy, but just don’t come cry on my shoulders when he dump you for some ordinary blond dumb girl!

And then he just left! He was so pissed! He was jealous! Finn’s plane was working before it even begin. I need to go home and call him to tell the news!

***

\- Hey, girl! How are you?

\- Hi, Finnley! I’m fine and you? I have big news!

\- I’m fine too! What’s the news?

\- I decided to accept your offer of making jealous on Liam! And I already started, and he is pissed! Thank you so much, this was such a great idea!

\- Oh… That is great Rae! Can’t wait to help you! So, what you think about me and you meeting in the pub tomorrow for a bear and talk?

\- That sounds fantastic! It’s a date! I mean, a fake one!

\- Yeah, it’s a date!

***

I don’t know why, but I was nervous waiting for Finn at the pub. Like I was anxious or something, I don’t know… This is so weird, because he is just a mate, nothing more, right? Right! Don’t even start with this Rae, you need to focus on Liam!

I was so distract that I got scared when I heard someone talking near my ear.

-I heard that here in this pub they play the best songs. Is that true girl?

God! It was Finn! He was so handsome with that leather jacket. I could just kiss him right here and now! NO RAE! FOCUS ON LIAM!

\- God Finn! What a fright!

\- Sorry, I was just trying to mess with you, I just didn’t know I would succeed so much!

\- You little piece of shit!

\- Hey why do you like to swear at me so much? You are starting to hurt my feelings Miss Earl!

\- Seriously? I’m so sorry Mister Nelson!

\- I will forgive you just this time, don’t expect so much generosity of the next time.

\- Oh yeah? Really? What will you do on the next time?

\- Wait and see Rae, just wait and see.

\- I count with that Finn!

And then this really sex and romantic mood hang in the air and we just couldn’t stop staring at each other. God, what was I doing? I don’t love Finn, I love Liam. That’s why I’m here for God’s sake! I’m crazy! That’s the only explanation! I need to break the mood. I need to say something really stupid and funny.

-So, have you heard the new Babylon Zoo song? It’s amazing!

-Really? Do you like Babylon Zoo?

-Of course! My dream is come to a concert of them and just hug and kiss the singer and cry during the song. That is how much I’m a fan of them.

\- Oh God, I actually had believed in you.

\- Really? And I thought that you knew me well, Nelson kid!

\- Nelson kid? A new nickname now?

\- You know, just when you say a stupid thing!

\- Stupid thing? Let’s make a deal, you come tomorrow to my house and listen to the new Babylon Zoo song and tell me if that is a crappy thing, if you don’t like of it I will buy to you the new Weezer album, but if you just admit that the song is good, you will by me one.

\- Okay, it’s a deal! But it can’t be tomorrow, I already combined to go out with Chloe!

\- No problems, we rescheduled to another day! But we will make this and I will show to you that I have a better knowledge about music.

\- In your dreams Finnley… In your dreams!

We keep teasing each other and talking for hours. It was such a funny night. Finn and I were really close and those awkward moments keep happening during that time, but he or me always changed the subject. It was easier when the gang arrived, that way we weren’t able of concentrate all the attention on each other.

When I got home my mum told me that Liam have called. So my plan was working pretty well, but the question is: Do I still want this? Run after a guy that didn’t appreciate me of the first time and played with my feelings during months? A guy who had changed so much that I barely recognized? God my feelings are a mess. It’s like I never was able of seem all of the shitty things that Liam had already made for me, and now, everything it’s appearing in my mind like a movie. I need to think straight! I need Kester and his complicated questions.


	3. Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! I hope you liked it!

RAE’S POV

Thank God I had an appointment with Kester today! Last night I almost couldn’t sleep thinking about my mix feelings for Finn and my sick love for Liam. It’s weird when you like someone for so long and you just believe that you should be together and then someone else comes and makes you feel things that you haven’t felt for so long. Well, but as I said, today I have Kester to help me out with this.

-Rae, come in!

As usual I come to Kester’s office and sit on my favorite chair.

-How are you feeling today Rae?

-I’m fine. Actually I’m everything but fine Kester! I’m fucking confused!

-Okay, let’s talk about that! What are making you feel confused?

-My feelings for Liam and Finn.

-Finn is the boy that you met last week and had a “perfect connection”. This is your words, not mine.

I hate when he uses my own words against me! It’s so annoying!

-Yes, Kester, that one!

-What have changed since last week?

-Finn and I are talking so much and we are so alike! We like teasing each other about music, we talk about our parents problems, about how hard is going to be when we need to go to college and he is really nice. I think he likes me, I don’t know. Because it seems like he is flirting with me all the time, but maybe this is just natural to him, because as I said to you before: HE IS FUCKING GORGEOUS!

-And what about your feelings for Liam?

-I like Liam for six months, so my feelings for him are pretty strong. And I don’t only see him as my love interest or something, Liam is my best mate. He helped me a lot when I was in the hospital, always cracking jokes and making me laugh. But, since we get out, he changed so much. He started to smoke and date Amy, and between both of this things, I don’t know what is worse! Now he is stupid with me, he stopped telling jokes and he doesn’t hug me anymore. I hate so much what he is turning into. When I was trying to make him jealous of Finn, he said to me that when Finn dumped me for some blond stupid girl I couldn’t count on him to make me feel better, basically.

-Sounds to me that you make him jealous after all!

-Yeah…

-But?

-But now I don’t know if this is what I want.

-Rae, since you got out of the hospital you changed a lot. You’re more mature, you accept your body, you’re making exercises and eating healthier. You changed! You are a different person. Maybe your interests changed too.

-Are you saying that I idealized Liam, and now that I have changed I can see who he truly is? And that I don’t actually love him, instead I’m starting to like Finn?

-Well, I only said that you changed. The rest you figured out by yourself.

-Kester, you always make me do this. See things clearly, and I thank you for that.

-Sometimes we just need a little push. But let’s change the subject a little, how is your relationship with you mum?

Kester and I kept talking about my life till the end of the session. It’s so funny how on the beginning I came here almost forced by my mum, because I didn’t want to go to therapy, because I thought it wasn’t gonna help me (one of Liam’s ideas that I embraced) and when I started, it just changed my life. Without therapy, I could’ve became just like Liam, a person who don’t think that people can change for good, that they’re always gonna be fucked up. Well, I don’t believe on this, and that’s why I’m better today.

Now, I just have to tell Finn what I feel and hope that he feels the same!

***

Chloe was waiting for me in front of my house. We had combined of watching a movie and gossiping a little about each other’s lives. So, my love declaration to Finn was on hold for a couple hours.

-Hey, Chlo!

-I’m waiting for hours! Where have you been?

-Sorry, I had therapy today, I forgot to tell you this. Let’s go inside. It’s freezing today!

-It’s fine. Actually, I’m here for thirty minutes, so it’s not a big deal. Please, I’m so cold!

Chloe and I got inside, made a brew and come to my room, because that way we would have privacy to talk without my mum asking her all about her life. So I started to talk about the moths I spend in the hospital, the people I’ve met in there, we talked about Liam and then Finn. I explain the whole situation to her and she was happy that Finn finally had the courage to make a move. WAIT, WHAT?

-What you mean make a move? I have never met Finn since last week.

-Well, you didn’t met him, but one time he saw you on the streets with an Oasis t-shirt and said to Archie that you were one of the only girls he saw in Lincolnshire with good taste in music. Then some other time, when I meet you on the streets and you were with the people from the hospital, he asked me if you were single, I said yes, and he asked me your name.

-Oh Jesus! You just gotta be kidding with me Chloe! He never told me any of that. This is unbelievable! Finn Nelson actually have a crush on me! But, wait! Why he was been such a prick when we met? You know, on the pub, before we start singing together?

-I don’t know! I wonder myself that too, because it just didn’t make sense! He liked you! So when he started to sing with you it was a relief! I was almost making him talk to you against his will.

\- I don’t doubt you would do this. But come on, tell me about you! How is things on the love field?

\- It couldn’t be better! I met a really nice guy. His name is Peter. He is on the glee club from our college and he is really smart and sweet. He once gave me a chocolate box and a bouquet of flowers!

-Really? Look at you Chloe, with the perfect boyfriend!

-Right? I finally met someone that really deserves me Rae! He isn’t a prick like Ian. I just couldn’t have met anyone better. And I really want you to meet him.

-I’m so happy for you sweetie! You deserve to be happy.

-We all do!

Chloe and I keep talking for hours and when I saw it was already 7 pm. I couldn’t just come to Finn’s house anymore, so I decided to wait till tomorrow. Now that I know that he feels the same for me, there is nothing that will keep me from saying this to him.

Chloe have left and my mum was on a night shift, so I was by myself tonight. Quite days like this are almost impossible in my house, so I just decided to watch a movie and sleep till tomorrow.

***

I was watching Edward Scissorhands when I heard a knock on my door. I probably shouldn’t answer because it was late, but what if was something important? Like my old neighbor was having a stroke or something? But no, it wasn’t my neighbor. It was Liam!

-Liam, what are you doing in here? It’s fucking late!

-I’m sorry, I know it’s late, actually, I know it’s late for a lot of things, but I just need to tell you how I feel about you Rae.

There it was! He was going to say everything that I wanted to hear from the past six months! But like I said, it was a long time ago. This isn’t my reality anymore.

-Liam, please! Just…

He doesn’t let me finish my phrase, when I realized I was been kissed by Liam! I waited for this so much and when it was finally happening, the only thought in my head was that I wanted to push him away as soon as I could. Finally I found strength to do it.

-WHAT THE HELL! ARE YOU INSANE? WHO GIVE YOU THE PERMISSION TO KISS ME?

-Rae, I’m sorry! I thought you felt the same for me!

-YES I FELT! FOR BLOODY SIX MONTHS AGO!

-Please, keep it down!

-KEEP IT DOWN? YOU JUST KISS ME OUT OF THE BLUE YOU MANIAC!

-Rae, please! Let me talk!

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and count to ten. My cheeks still were burning like fire, but now I was able of stop screaming and just listen to him.

-Talk! But you have only five minutes! And you’re not gonna try to kiss me again, deal?

-Deal! I’m sorry Rae. I shouldn’t have kissed you. It’s just that I’m so scared of losing you. I like you Rachel Earl! Since the moment that we started to speak with each other at the hospital, and I was such a fool for choosing Amy over you, I was just so confused. But now that I saw that idiot running after you wherever you go, it just hit to me that you are the right girl for me and that I want to be with you. Please, reconsider your relationship with Finn and just be with me?!

I never thought I would ever listen to these words coming out from Liam’s mouth. He never seemed to care that much about me. But that doesn’t matter now right? It was too late for us. He would never change and I already liked someone else. But there were feelings that I needed to put out and that was the right time to do it.

-Liam, I also liked you since the first time that we’ve met. I just thought you were the most funny and sexy person that I could ever met. My feelings for you were just growing and growing and I though you felt the same. I was so happy that I would finally have my first boyfriend and that he was also going to be my best mate. Let’s be honest, is there a best combination than that? Of course not! But then you started to change. You became distant and cold. You stopped hugging me, even if I had told you that I felt safe when you did that. You started to date Amy and then you completely changed. I was on a denial state, because I couldn’t believe in what my best mate had turned out. I waited you broke up with Amy and I stand by your side. And you didn’t give a shit about it till you see that you’ve lost me. Because that’s what it is. You lost me Liam. And I don’t think it’s health for us even been friends.

-Rae, please!

-No Liam, we’re done. Goodbye.

So I closed the door and go back to the sofa. A lot had happened and my head feel like it was going to explode. But at least I finished this chapter of my life. It’s time to begging a new one. And that is what I’m gonna do tomorrow.

***

I wake up feeling like a feather, so light! It was like I had taken a weight off my back! The day was beautiful and sunny. I had a good feeling that everything was going to work out. I went down starts and called to Finn’s house. I was so anxious to talk to him!

-Hey Mr. Nelson, it’s Rae! Can I talk to Finn?

-Hello, Rae! I’m so sorry, but Finn isn’t home! He went to meet Chop on the park to play soccer.

-Oh, I understand. Thank you Sr. I will try to meet him there.

It was a good day to take a walk on the park!

***

All the way till here I thought about thousand different ways to tell Finn what I felt. But when I saw him shirtless and more beautiful than ever, all of them were gone. I waved to him five times and he never looked at me! I was starting to look like those teenage fans who wants their idol attention. I waited till the end of the game and came to him.

-Finn! Jesus, you’re fucking blind! I waved to you five times and you didn’t look once!

-Sorry Rae, I was focused on the game.

-No problems Finnley!

An awkward moment of silence was on the air and I decided to break and tell him what I feel, but then he said first.

-Rae, I need to talk to you!

-I need to talk to you too, Finn!

-Great, this make things a lot of easier. I’m sorry, but I just can’t help you been with that twat! You deserve better!

-Yes, I do deserve better!

-What? What are you saying?

-Finn, it come to me that my feelings for Liam are in the past and I actually like someone else.

-Really?

-Yes. And recently I find out that this person also have feelings for me, but I just want to check if things haven’t changed.

-Who is this person then?

-Some irritating and annoying person, I could even call him a grump sod. Sometimes I just wanna kill him.

It’s so funny when you see that someone realized that you’re talking about them and the look in their eyes change completely in front of you. Finn’s eyes were smiling at me and I could felt that mine were smiling in response.

Then Finn kissed me. And it wasn’t like Liam’s kiss. It was better. Because I wanted this and I never wanted to let him go. Our lips match perfectly and it was like we needed each other to survive. This was the best moment ever. I was kissing Finn Fucking Nelson and he liked me. We didn’t care who was looking at us, because we were happy and we knew that this was right. We were right for each other.

THE END.


End file.
